just stuff

ok so i'm in my leaving cert year ( bout time i know) .. and i know im not the only one who is confused about "the rest of one's life"
but why is that "defined" by going to college.. or finishing school..
people always asssume that the best things to do is go to college after school but that isnt always the case.. im not saying its a bad thing but its not ALWAYS THE BEST THING!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont want to be another typical person who is pressured into college not knowing what i want to do so ... uh... i just pick arts for the sake of doing something???

********disclaimer******** - if arts is what you want then thats great but for the majority its not
so no offence if your doin arts

im sick of other people deciding whats best for me.. let me make my own decisions.. let me make my own mistakes and let me be me..

i know for the most part , your parents have your best interests at heart but NEWSFLASH!!!!! just because their your parents, that doesnt give them some superpower over you that never lets them be wrong...PARENTS DONT ALWAYS GET IT RIGHT... and it is quite possible that i am capable of making my life decisions on my own and not being wrong..

and besides... college is like a fountain of knowledge- and the students are just there to drink!!!

lewis carroll once said "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there"

and i just could not care less anyore about what road other people want me to take.. let them take it themselves coz im goin my own route..

im going to define my own happiness for me and if that includes college then great but if it doesnt than that is just as great because it is not the be all and end all of everything..

i have a dream that hasnt died yet or been crushed by people who have no life and that dream is certainly within my reach and i dont need people in my life who want to distract me from it or poison it..
“The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.” - Chuck Palahniuk

so ya know what?. although the light from my candle may have dimmed recently it will shine so bright im gonna leave you with cataracts!

"Halo"

I never promised you a ray of light,

I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday,

I give you everything I have, the good, the bad.

Why do you put me on a pedestal,

I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below,

So help me down you've got it wrong,

I don't belong there.

One thing is clear,

I wear a halo,

I wear a halo when you look at me,

But standing from here,

you wouldn't say so

you wouldn't say so, if you were me

And I, I just wanna love you,

Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

I always said that I would make mistakes,

I'm only human, and that’s my saving grace,

I fall as hard as I try

So don't be blinded

See me as I really am,

I have flaws and sometimes I even sin,

so pull me from that pedestal,

I don't belong there.

One thing is clear,

I wear a halo,

I wear a halo when you look at me,

But standing from here,

you wouldn't say so

you wouldn't say so, if you were me

And I, I just wanna love you,

Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

Why you think that you know me

But In your eyes I am something above you

It’s only in your mind

Only in your mind I wear a I wear a I wear a Halo

just stuff

ok so this next post is kinda all over the place but at the moment so is my life so hey.. what harm?

this picture says so much..yet not enough.. hurt, pain, tears but no words.. you have to figure it out yourself.. like so much in life already.. it's a pity that we werent given a manual at the start of life to say this is how you are supposed to approach the world, your life, your relationships.. but even if we were only a few of us would actually read it..

i've been dwelling alot on the past, missed opportunities, purpose, loss and loved ones recently and seeing as i am currently sick i dont have much to do except, think.. (and watch one tree hill of course)... Speaking of One Tree Hill, who thought it could be so inspirational or well at least thought provking.. Chad Micheal Murray aka Lucas Scott quoted Socrates (470 BC- 399 BC) the famous Greek philosopher saying..

“Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart's desire; the other is to get it.”

i know my hearts desire and it is something i strive for everyday and if im honest, if i got it i wouldnt know what to do with it... not to get my heart's desire is one thing but to have it taken away?? dunno if i could handle it..

im tired of being the stong one.. im tired of "dealing" with things all the time. im tired, of always settling for something instead of getting THEE thing..

is it too much to ask for happiness? and/or if we get it, all we can do is count... count how long it takes to be taken away from us... how do we rebel? CAN we rebel?

Socrates says life contains but two tragedies but im asking does life contain happiness? or are we living in a messed up fairy tale that never ends.. so that none of us get happy ever after?

is there ever "right without the wrong"?

or "truth without the lies"?

"one without the other?"

William Morris (1834-1896) once said "Love is enough"

The Beatles sang "All You Need is Love"...

at the and of the day is love enough for you to be ok? love from a parent , love from a friend, love from God, love from "your other half"..

is it enough?

"There is only one real tragedy in a womans life. The fact that her past is always her lover, and her future invariably her husband" - Oscar Wilde

the tragedy is there are no any guarentees in this life, nothing you can truly trust.. especially love.

Weather

Why post a blog about weather you say???

Well... Why not..

IT'S TALKED ABOUT IN EVERY OTHER CONVERSATION YOU HEAR!!!!!!

it's the safest topic in the world to talk bout..

awkward moments and dead end conversatons are saved by "so........ lovely day int it?" or..."jayz look at that rain outside.. maddness"

and that's exactly what it is ...MADDNESS

i was in galway last week and yeah you guessed it... it poured rain all week.. but the funny thing is.. when i got home and had an enlightening conversation with my uncle. i happened to bring up the fact that i was in Galway for a few days and his response was..."oh right...... how was the weather??".. not "what did you get up to?" or "did ya have a good time?" but "HOW WAS THE BLOODY WEATHER?"

ITS MID OCTOBER IN GALWAY .. WHAT DO YOU THINK????????????

as you can tell im obviously still not over it.. the fact that my uncle was making small talk with me about the stupid weather..

think bout it... how many times would you refer to weather in your daily conversations with people?? kinda ridiculous int it?

is it laziness or have we ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN ELSE TO TALK BOUT?!?!?!?!?!?!

challenge yourself to have a "non weather talking" day soon...

That is all.. my rant/vent is over.

my grad dress

yes yes yes i know its only october BUT.... before you say im crazy hear me out...

so i was at the hospital in tulamore today coz i have to get my tonsils out in 2 weeks but when i was on the way home we (me and terry(terry is my dad)) stopped in town.. he tried to make me buy this RIDICULOUS LOOKIN JACKET that i wouldnt put on my grandmother (lord a mercy on her)

anyways.. then i dunno why but this sparked up conversation about ebay because ive just recently bought a fabulous dress there (and plan to wear it for eimears birthday) and i decided to show him this dress i saw that i was contemplating gettin.. i showed it to him and he liked it and said "sure go on ahead ... get it"

well as you can imagine i was gobsmacked that my father willingling said yes to paying for a dress that was 160 euro which if you were to buy in shops would be between 300-450

so ... im delighra with my stira and im sure you'll agree with me that its poifect...

im happy out!! :)

my first ever blog

so wow.. here we go.. my first ever blog..

im just going to introduce myself to this until i get used to it.. but so far i have uploaded a picture of eimear and I.. Eimear is great... this was us in "SUBWAY" after celebrating Paul's birthday night in Athlone

im not entirely sure why i started a blog nor do i have a reason why i feel i should.. just trying this out and see whether it benefits me in anyway or not..

so emmmm yeah i will my back with the oh so interesting details of my life soon..